And its here with a vengeance. ive never had fever this high in such a long time. read: 39.6 deg. its prolly the ever-changing weather that has got me sick. i felt woozy most of the time. shivering cold, my breathing was heavier. my body was burning hot, i swear. it wasnt a good feeling indeed.
Miraculously, my temp dropped a deg lower only to get worst the next day. it came back with a disgusting bitter taste in my throat. eveythings tasteless to me now. Eyes hot and watery and sensitive.
Told you its back with a vengeance, but i choose not to rest.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
bored to death.
hello world =)
ive been bumming at home and do nothing cept for same ol' chores and exploring and some soul searching, if thats included. that is. Ha. or rather job searching which gets dull every other time. but i need the money to spend on wonderful things that makes me happy. so that can only mean get an effing job, right? gah!
also, i wanna get busy and up on my feet. was suppose to go for a run today.... but then again, when laziness kicks in... you should know what i mean. haha. read couple of blogs today and some things just cracked me up. shall post it here some other day, but not now.=)
for now, ive been wanting to make the list of things that i could, should and would do to get me motivated. so here goes nothing;
1. get a fucking job, will you ?! 2. lose some Fugly Fats = running at least half an hour daily for a start ! 3. get up early for #2's sake! ohh boy. 4. CHORES. -_- 5. get a LIFE.
hahahahahaahaha. so what you think ?
Linger - The Cranberries
If you, if you could return Don't let it burn, don't let it fade I'm sure I'm not being rude But it's just your attitude It's tearing me apart It's ruining everything
I swore, I swore I would be true And honey so did you So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand? Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger, ahhh Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger?
Oh, I thought the world of you I thought nothing could go wrong But I was wrong,I was wrong
If you, if you could get by Trying not to lie Things wouldn't be so confused And I wouldn't feel so used But you always really knew I just wanna be with you
And I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger, ahhh Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger?
And I'm in so deep You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger, ahhh Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger?
You know I'm such a fool for you You got me wrapped around your finger, ahhh Do you have to let it linger? Do you have to, do you have to Do you have to let it linger?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Peculiar.
i don't feel you like i used to. i can't feel you when i embraced you. forget yesterday but many other times before. this feeling just saddens me much lately. im mad at self for feeling this. makes me wonder why. why the sudden change? am i not whom you've loved all these while? am i not whom you've missed all these while? am i not whom you need all these while? maybe not. if not, just tell me so. if so, stop telling things that you don't mean. what i see written is way different from how i physically, emotionally see. and if you're using aida as an excuse, i suggest don't. it just hurts that bad. that part, we should all understand by now. you're oblivious to how much ive longed for you. to be close... and no, its not what you think it is. im searching for warmth. your warmth. something which you will never know. i felt it before but why can't i feel it now... don't you see it? its just...sad. these thoughts just gets me all teary-eyed. sometimes i found myself running out of reasons to cry. this might sound pathethic. but its the reason i go speechless everytime you'd ask why i'd cry. there's no such things as crying over nothing. maybe to you, but not me. i've asked, you don't mind leaving me now? you wouldn't budge. maybe you wouldn't mind at all. curious what's in your mind right now. mind boggling isn't it? try this times a billion. well, if i think its what you think it is, let me make it easy for you. don't lead me on. i now what i want but if your not willing to go through this with me, don't fake what you don't feel. its just unfair... not only to me, but the both of us. ='(
Friday, March 14, 2008
proudest work yet
dated way back...
......I guess its all of no use now
Since its been said and done
For our friendship suffered
Just for you to find the 'better' one.
You choose to quit
Though i know we're of different skin
But why cant you understand that
Nothing could ever come in between.
You always said i wont understand
And insists i never will
But maybe you never did understand
That the relationship will somehow stand still...
simple yet something.
Friday, January 12, 2007
hello world.
hi again. yeah, im back from my ever so long hiatus. since then, many things happen, in and out of my life. ive got so much to be penned down but i just dont know where to start. thats me and that.is.pathetic. really. im speechless at this very moment if you must know.
okay, so its a whole new year all over again, which always succumbs to a whole new resolution.... well, if you readers are eager to know what my resolutions are... it is to not have any. yess, you heard me. my resolutions are not to have any resolutions in 07. plain weird. i guess thats just the way it is, coz whenever i do have one, its.just.not.working. whatever thatmeans. for now, i'll just let everything go with the flow and handle every situation, good or bad, with a smile. Q: does a plastic smile counts, no?
sidetrack please.
its been the 2nd week of 07. school started. yaay. what a way to start school. nothings ready. zero,zilch. not physically or mentally. if you know what i mean. it just sucked. aha, sucks to not be ready on whats coming my way soon/3monthslater/future??
sidetrack again, please.
other than that, ive started working. a certified barista, yea. its been fun and worthwhile. okay, i know that i have a thing or two for the love of baking, but lil did i know that i have a thing or two for cooking, too. its amusing. been watching loads of cookoff shows and something just sparks me to get my cooking desire to good use. nicee. been making homemade stuffs on my own. its surprisingly fun and...err..therapeutic? just so you know, my list of so-called therapeutic stuffs that ive discovered so far...
1) painting, even if it means the whole blardy house.
2) staring at the tranquility of the fishes minding their own business without knowing a lost soul is watching their every move.
3) cooking, my own way please with noone telling me how ive turned the kitchen upside-down please. noone. just be my tastebuds. thats all im asking.
wookay. maybe i should stop here. whats next in line, chef?
gosh. im allll jumbled/messed/cocked up. whichever way you wanna put it. this entry has been filled with many confusion, sarcasm and negativity, dont you think?
i think so, babe.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
DejaVu
Fuh. it strucked me two days in a row and it's getting old like a film without sound black and white just that this has colours in it.
Get this; couldn't sleep last night watched tv til 3 switching channels on random came across soundtrack channel on its usual latenites something just tells me to watch it though they were showing 2-decades-old-vids an award-winning hit in year 1984 came playing Stevie Wonders 'I just call to say I love you...' video i was glued so it's fine, didn't know that song came from him then i've got earworms soon after and i brought it to bed ended up tossing and turning instead.
Caught American Idol as usual, won't miss it for the world theme: Stevie Wonders' music the first vid that caught my eye was... yess. 'I just call to say I love you..' whatever the title was so i thought it wasn't THAT bad lah..
You see, before watching AI i was watching the movie Ray Charles on cable what made ponder was the similarities between these two respected musicians both are blind plays the piano wore sunglasses owns a deep soulful passion for music has that... you know... the groove when they perform it's just that Ray's.. dead. what more can i add when i see Taylor Hicks perform on AI his moves and all what a feeling LOL.
Don't get me wrong, i do respect them for what they love to do being a music lover that i am i do appreciate it just that Ray Charles Stevie Wonder Taylor Hicks.... they made me plant this feeling inside... this DejaVu-ness... Hmm.
